Goals - Stay In Your Lane! By Edi Sowers

In working with my coaching clients, we spend a lot of time and energy in looking at their goals, both long-term and short-term.

I’ve observed an interesting phenomenon: focusing on your goal can actually result in you achieving the opposite of your desired outcome.

“What?!?!? I’ve always been told that I’m to keep my goals in clear sight: write them down, post them, review them regularly, stay focused like a laser on them! Now you’re telling me NOT to focus on my goals?”

Well, yes – and no.

Thirty years ago I learned a lesson in driver’s education class that would have application for the rest of my life. I was finally going to go out on the road to do in the car what we’d been learning in the classroom.

I was both excited and afraid. I had visions of my independence – wheeling around town, driving my car (well, driving my parent’s car!) When the instructor and I went to the road the first time, it wasn’t long until I had to tackle the essential driving skill of approaching an oncoming car on a two lane highway. I white-knuckled the steering wheel, and began to concentrate on avoiding that car coming at me. I wanted to be SURE I didn’t hit it! My goal – my desired outcome - was to avoid that oncoming car!

The more I focused, the more I began to veer closer and closer to the lane dividing line. Why was this happening??!!! I was trying SO hard to AVOID that car! The more I concentrated on avoiding what I feared most, the more it drew me in like a magnet.

I squeezed the steering wheel tighter and tighter, concentrated harder and harder, and veered closer and closer.

The instructor waited until just the right time to tell me that the way to avoid that oncoming car was to keep my focus on MY lane, and not to be so focused on that car. “Don’t look at it, because that will cause you to drive towards it. Look at your lane to stay in your lane.”

So, I shifted my focus. Instead of my goal being “avoid that oncoming car,” it became “stay in my lane.” I got back on track and relaxed. The oncoming car whizzed past at a very safe distance and I learned a lesson about driving and life that would stay with me forever.

The desired outcome of “avoid that oncoming car” and “stay in my lane” is the same: safe passage on the highway. The difference was in my focus, my goal.

Take a look at your life, your business, your priorities. What are your desired outcomes?

* Achieve a certain volume of sales in a given month.
* Recruit 10 new team members.
* Promotion to the next level or rank.
* Lose 20 pounds.
* Get my house in order.
* Train my children to be responsible citizens.

Work back from your stated desired outcome and evaluate HOW you have framed your goal statements.

Is your focus - “avoid the oncoming car”? or is it - “stay in my lane”? The first is fear-based. The second is progress-based.

If you want to make progress towards your desired outcome: Keep your eyes on your lane to stay in your lane.
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Edi Sowers coaches professional women who work from home and face the challenge of balancing their professional and personal priorities. Visit LifeHouseCoaching.com to sign up for "Blueprints for a Dream Life" and receive weekly articles, coaching tips and offers.