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How to Make Sure Your Goals Are Really Yours

If you ask a person what their goals in life are, you’ll hear them talk with excitement about a mixture of things, convinced that they are what they want. However, many times, these things are not really their own goals. They’re just goals they've picked up from others. They think they want these things, but if they achieve them it won’t really make them happier. This is a serious concern because you can spend years chasing certain outcomes, only to find out that you didn't really desire to achieve them in the first place, other people wanted you to achieve them. It’s not only frustrating, but it also fills you with doubt and chokes your motivation to pursue any other goals you may think you have. For this reason, it’s important to recognize your own goals, the things you truly want for yourself, and detach them from the goals of others. Here are 4 very effective strategies to do so. 1. Pay Attention to Conventional Goals If you’re goals are very similar to what society conventionally tells us that we should want in life, that’s the first warning sign. Chances are that many of these goals aren't genuinely yours. You see, we all have unique personalities and desires, which to some extent stray from standard social expectations. So it’s nearly impossible that all your goals are aligned with what society typically tells you that you should want. So when you think you want something that’s highly conventional (for example: marriage, kids, money, fame), ask yourself: “Is this what I really want, or is it just something society wants me to want?” You’d be surprised what the answer can be. 2. Look for the Reasons behind Your Goals Searching for the motives sustaining your goals is another effective method to find out if they are truly yours. What you do is you simply ask yourself: “Why do I want X? How did I come to want this?” Thus, you’re trying to get to the very source of your aims in life. Frequently by asking yourself this and pondering the topic, you’ll realize about a certain goal that you came to have it simply because others have told you that you should. Or because others around you had that goal. But you never actually wanted it intrinsically. You didn't associate joy with reaching it; others did. So you followed their lead. That’s not really a good thing, and you may wanna stop following. 3. Take Others Out Of the Equation This is one of my favorite techniques. The purpose here is to detach yourself from the need to please others, and see what goals come up. Those goals will be genuinely yours. You can do this by asking yourself something like: “If pleasing other people wasn't a concern, what would I wanna do with my life?” Really think about this, from this unique perspective. If you manage even for just a few seconds to detach from the desire to please others, you’ll get in touch with the desires that come from deep within you and they are independent of other people. And you can achieve amazing insights. 4. Do Some Practical Testing Finally, if you wanna make sure a goal is truly yours, you can test it on a small scale. This means investing a bit of time and resources to reach that goal in a miniature form, and seeing how it makes you feel. If you feel visibly happier, then it’s worth pursuing that goal on a larger scale as well. If you don’t, at least you didn't waste enormous time and resources pursuing something that you don’t truly want. For example: suppose you think you want to be famous. Try becoming famous on a small scale first, let’s say in a small community of people. And notice how it feels. Does it only give you a very short and subtle burst of pleasure? Then it may not be a good idea to seek international fame. That won’t make you much happier either. It is often said that your goals are your own. However, that’s only so if you get in touch with your deep self and reveal your intrinsic desires, while detaching yourself from what other people want for you. You now have the tools to do so. Use them, and you’ll be able to pursue goals that will perceptibly enhance your fulfillment in life. _________________ Eduard Ezeanu helps people discover how to be more outgoing and social, as well as how to stop being shy, in order to create fulfilling relationships with others and build the social life of their dreams. He also writes regularly on his two blogs, Art of Confidence and People Skills Decoded. Featured:

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Achieving Goals Isn’t Just About Hard Work

When it comes to achieving goals, common advice that is given is to work hard. If you read motivational quotes and books, you'll discover that many of them related to success basically say that if you work hard enough on a goal, you will eventually achieve it. I would say this is true for most goals but for the big ones, hard work alone isn't enough. You could be smart and work hard your entire life and still not achieve the things that you desire. Many people have realized this and even advise others to set realistic goals believing that it's better to aim lower rather than higher. The problem with this thinking is you will be chasing something you think you can get rather than something you actually want. Here's the main reason why smart, hard working people can still fail to achieve their goals: They work hard on the wrong things. Being smart can mean a lot of different things. You could get good grades in school and be considered smart. You could have a great memory and be considered smart. You could be a quick learner and be considered smart. Because there are different ways to be smart, you could be smart at the wrong things and as a result, end up failing to achieve your goals. We all know people who may not be considered smart in the traditional sense and yet end up very successful in life. When it comes to achieving big goals, the smart ones are the people who can figure out what works and what doesn't work and put their time into what works. In other words, instead of just working hard, you need to also work smart. Just because you put in long hours at the office doesn't mean you'll go far. Depending on your goal, you may have to find people who are successful at what you want to do, interview them, and find out what the crucial elements in achieving the goals you want to achieve are. You may have to hire a coach or become analytic and measure everything you do. You may have to become an expert at networking in order to get your foot into doors that you would never get into with just hard work alone. If you know people who are smart and hard working but still fail at achieving their goals, it's a pretty safe bet that the reason for their failure is that they're doing it wrong. If you fail at achieving a goal other people are able to achieve, then it's very likely that they're doing something you're not. The smart person is the one who will realize what's missing in their plan of action and get it fixed instead of just merely working harder like most people do. In order to increase your chances of success at achieving your goals, take notice of the results you're getting from your hard work. Hard work is the foundation of success but you'll need to always be looking for more efficient ways to do things. You will also need to be open to completely changing your original strategy if necessary. Here's the bottom line: Focus on results. More specifically, focus on how you can produce better results with less work. This will mean testing out ideas and measuring the results and changing what's necessary. To speed things up, find people who are further down the road than you are, study what they're doing, ask them directly if possible, and apply what you pick up to your current strategy. Given enough time, even an inefficient plan will eventually produce the results you want but if you want to achieve your big goals in this lifetime, hard work plus correct and efficient strategy is the way to go. _____________ Kevin Ngo is the author of, "Let's Do This!" and the founder of MotivationalWellBeing.com, a site full of motivational tools such as articles, songs, quotes, stories, and videos to help people get motivated. -What advice would you add to the ideas above?

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Goal Setting Advice from an Underdog

I love watching the underdog succeed. I can’t help it, I’m American. This country was born fighting an impossible war with improbable odds to win our freedom from tyranny. Watching the underdog sets our emotions on fire. Whether it’s the last minute comeback of a losing sports team or the person who fought off a deadly disease; we are invigorated by the human struggle. However, watching the underdog succeed and being the underdog are as different as night and day. Sure everyone will come up to the winning underdog, pat them on the back, and say they always knew they could do it. But the underdog that says they always knew it would work out is a liar. The truth is coming back from insurmountable odds takes dedication, persistence, and a little bit of luck. We love to ignore that last one because after all we’re talking about the human spirits need to succeed. The fact is Steve Jobs was not unique. You can read his biography and study his life but at the end of the day there are hundreds of thousands of people, maybe even millions, that have the same exact level of dedication and persistence. It’s that little bit of luck that makes them Steve Jobs. So you’re not going to be the next Steve Jobs. That doesn’t mean you should throw in the towel, call it a day and become a greeter at Walmart. You have to be happy with you. Only you can set your life goals. Many people start from the top and try to work their way down. “I want to be rich” isn’t a life goal unless you have a plan that shows how to get there. Starting Small Gets You There Quicker Have you ever played the card game War? Think back to your childhood or if you have children you might have played it more recently. It’s a slow moving game where each turn the opponents throw down a card and the higher card wins. If two cards match, on the same turn, there is a war where more cards are on the table for the taking. The winner of the game is the one that collects all the cards. I’ve personally played games of War that have lasted well over two hours. It’s a slow moving game - just like success. Tom Daley, the fresh faced British diver from the Olympics, didn’t wake up one morning climb to the highest diving platform and get handed a medal. He literally climbed his way to the top. Rung after rung on the ladder and not without tremendous setbacks. In 2011, his father died from a brain tumor at age 40. That’s enough to stop anyone in their tracks but Tom pushed forward. The underdog takes small gradual steps to come from behind. If you run a company, regardless the size, a business plan helps layout a path towards success. However, I don’t feel the business plan goes far enough. It’s great for getting focused, but many times it lacks enough detail to be effective. Often times a business owner will step through the process of writing the business plan and then put it in an office draw. Out of sight is out of mind. A year later when that business person opens that draw again they often laugh at the naivety of the document. Yes, it’s great for your overall marketing plan and estimating the ROI from advertising. But the devil is in the details and we often get lost in the day-to-day running of our business and lose sight of the original plan. Take that business plan out of the draw and step out each element. If the marketing section called for a postcard campaign detail the number of times you plan to send it. How many are you sending and are you going to follow up with a phone call? In this economy, everyone is an underdog. Even if you have the house, the boat, and the car you’ve always dream; there is someone on your heels ready to knock you down, pushing you in a corner and ready to take your place. The way the underdog wins is by setting small goals and stepping up the ladder one rung at a time. _________________ Halyard Consulting is a New Jersey based Internet Marketing company focused on improving online results for businesses with geographically specific clientele. Halyard Consulting was founded in 2007 when owner Jonathan Goodman recognized the difficulties small businesses had gaining top positions in the search engines. Since then our focus has been to improve the search rankings of businesses with geographically specific customers.The Halyard Consulting Equation: Great Content + A Search Engine Friendly Website + Social Media = Success. -what was your biggest takeaway from the ideas above? Share your thoughts and feedback in the comments below.

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Goal Setting: The Four Parts of Visualization By Brian Tracy

Brian Tracy - speaker, author and goal setting authorityDid you know that there are four parts of visualization that you can learn and practice to assure that you use this incredible power to its best advantage all the days of your life. How Often? The first aspect of visualization is frequency, the number of times that you visualize a particular goal as achieved of yourself performing in an excellent way in a particular event or circumstance. The more frequently you repeat a clear mental picture of your very best performance or result, the more rapidly it will appear as part of your reality. How Long? The second element of visualization is the duration of the mental image, the length of time that you can hold the picture in your mind each time you replay it. When you deeply relax, you can often hold a mental picture of yourself performing at your best for several seconds, and even several minutes. The longer you can hold your mental picture, the more deeply it will be impressed into your subconscious mind and the more rapidly it will express itself in your subsequent performance. How Clearly? The third element of visualization is vividness. There is a direct relationship between how clearly you can see your desired goal or result in your mind and how quickly it comes into your reality. This element of visualization is what explains the powers of the Law of Attraction and the Law of Correspondence. The vividness of your desire directly determines how quickly it materializes in the world around you. Here is an interesting point. When you set a new goal for yourself, your image or picture of this goal will usually be vague and fuzzy. But the more often you write it, review it, and repeat it mentally, the clearer it becomes for you. Eventually, it will become crystal clear. At that point, the goal will suddenly appear in your world exactly as you imagined it. How Intensely? The fourth element of visualization is intensity, the amount of emotion that you attach to your visual image. In reality, this is the most important and powerful part of the visualization process. Sometimes, if your emotion is intense enough and your visual image is clear enough, your goal will immediately come true. Of course, the elements of frequency, duration, vividness, and intensity can help you or hurt you. Like nature, the power of visualization is neutral. Like a two-edged sword, it can cut in either direction. It can either make you a success or make you a failure. Visualization brings you whatever you vividly and intensely imagine, whether good or bad. Action Exercise: Continually feed your mind with clear, exciting, emotional pictures. Remember, your imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions. _____________ Brian Tracy is one of the world's leading authorities on personal and business success. His fast-moving talks and seminars are loaded with powerful, proven ideas and strategies that you can apply immediately to get better results in every area. Be sure to visit the Brian Tracy web site. -do you use visualization when setting goals? If so, what works for you?

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Create A Clearing For Your Goal By Lisa Jimenez

Yes, I often talk about “Building Belief” and the power belief gives you in achieving your goals. Here are several exercises to help you do this: 1.) Speak mantras and affirmations daily as if your goal has already been accomplished. 2.) Make a list of 100 reasons why your goal simply MUST happen for the betterment of you, your family, community and the planet. 3.) Modeling: Find someone who has already achieved what you want and study them. Allow their story to inspire and guide you. Today I want to share a few exercises to help you create a clearing (a space) for your goals. 1. Release all criticism, blame, ridicule, judgment and complaint. Criticize is the exact opposite of encourage. Blame stops progress. Ridicule invalidates you. Judgment perpetuates defensive actions. When you release these, you create a clearing (a space) for your dreams/goals. 2. Let go of the need to justify yourself and your actions. Make decisions quickly with no explanation. “I choose it because I choose it.” You do not owe an explanation to anyone! Stop justifying your actions. Grow up. Make decisions. Choose. And deal with whatever that decision (that choice) creates. You can do this thing! 3. Stop making things mean something. Be neutral about ‘what happens’. Your prospect didn’t call back because he didn’t call back. Period. End of story. Stop adding all the drama to it. Simply be in action and follow up to find out when he can reschedule. No drama! Only Creation... “Life is what we make believe it is. Nothing more.” “There are 6 1/2 billion people on this planet and yet no two people are living in the same world!” Let these 2 quotes empower you to release the need to make something mean something. Life is all about perception. Choose your perception wisely. No drama! Only Creation... Are we having fun yet?? To your goal setting success, Lisa _____________ Lisa Jimenez, M.Ed., has helped thousands of top salespeople shatter their self-limiting beliefs and finally get the breakthrough success they want. When it comes to personal productivity and creating unstoppable momentum — there is no one better for your salespeople than Lisa. Click here for business building success resources by Lisa Jimenez. -what are some ways you go about setting goals? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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Goal Setting is the Necessary Ingredient to Achieve Success in your Life By Gary Ryan Blair

There is no purer form of success, no more exact and demanding test of what you are capable of, than to achieve a desirable outcome. Although the definition of success varies for each individual, the fundamentals for achieving a goal are always the same. It is a process that begins with decisiveness, proceeds to focus, advances to action, then carries on with persistence and follow-through before ending in victory. There is no other way! Goal setting takes your life and gives it direction as it helps you to determine the answers to 6 important questions: -What you specifically want to achieve? -Why is this achievement is so important to you? -Who will help you to achieve this goal? -Where do you currently stand in relation to this goal? -How do you plan on accomplishing this goal? -When, on what date will you achieve your goal? These are questions that only one person can answer: You! Since time is money, then goal setting is invaluable as it is your goals which keep you focused, on time, and on schedule. Though it seems to be out of vogue to speak of goal setting, there is nothing more fashionable than success, which owes its very life to goals. A Few Words On Success... Success requires that you pass the test before learning the lesson. Success requires patience to create anything of lasting value. Success requires hard choices, full commitment, and total focus. Success wants you to pursue your goals with great devotion and passion and says no to you when you are unprepared to appreciate it. Success demands dedication, discipline, hard work, and courage. Success requires your utmost attention and will not allow itself to be taken for granted. Success must be earned, deserved, respected, and appreciated. Success plays by specific, nonnegotiable rules; it will always require that goals be clearly identified, plans be set in place, and action consistently enforced. Success requires goals -- end of story! Everything Counts! Gary Ryan Blair ______________ Gary Ryan Blair is President of The GoalsGuy. A visionary and gifted conceptual thinker, Gary is highly regarded as a speaker, consultant, strategic planner, and coach to leading companies throughout the globe. Visit The GoalsGuy! What are some ways you keep track of the goals you set?

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Goal Setting Tip: The Relentless Pursuit of Freedom By Gary Ryan Blair

Gary Ryan Blair - goal-setting expert In my many years of coaching and consulting, I’ve found that, in virtually every case, (consciously or unconsciously) the decision to achieve goals and to become more successful boils down to the desire for greater freedom.

The opportunity to enjoy and continually expand your personal freedom is what distinguishes high and low achievers.

The Five Freedoms which I’m about to outline offer the framework for a permanent foundation on which to build goals for the rest of your life.

This list includes both freedoms from and freedoms to — helping to eliminate the things you no longer want in your life and to build the new, better things that you do.

1) – Freedom of Ideals

Ideals and values address fundamental human issues and aim to make the world a better place.

As you experience greater success in any area of your life, you get to define success according to your ideals, you become the type of person you’ve always wanted to be, and you freely express and exemplify your deepest values, highest ideals, and most passionate beliefs.

2) - Time Freedom

An important strategic byproduct of achieving goals and working efficiently is that you learn how to increase the quantity of your free time, and, even more important, free to increase the quality.

By designing a lifestyle that you love and by taking time to rejuvenate your mind, body, creativity, and relationships, you will be surrounded by the best possible circumstances.

3) – Energy Freedom

When you experience greater success, you are free to cut loose those things in your life — relationships, situations, activities, and obligations — that drain your energy.

As these unwanted elements are eliminated, you free up your best abilities and will find yourself surrounded by an environment that supports and boosts your energy.

4) – Relationship Freedom

I define success in many ways, one of my favorites is that it means no more knuckleheads, no more settling, and no more excuses.

When you continually expand your success, you get to choose who you have relationships with.

You’re free to choose the best possible relationships — ones that are supportive, creative, profitable, and satisfying.

As you do so, you will find yourself attracting and developing more of these relationships in all areas of your life.

5) – Freedom to Focus

We live in a world where attention spans are decreasing as demands on our mental resources increase.

By knowing how to connect the dots between cause and effect, you have the freedom to focus your best attention, energies, resources, and abilities on what you decide are your most important commitments in life.

How free are you?

Like most people I’ve worked with, you’ve probably realized that you have room for progress in expanding your freedom in at least some of these areas.

Your challenge for today is to identify the top two freedoms that you want to actively pursue. Consider the implications of their acquisition and how your life will become even more enriched.

The pursuit of these two dominant freedoms should be immediate and with reckless abandonment as one sure way to experience greater freedom is to let it all hang out!

Everything Counts!
Gary Ryan Blair
___________________
Gary Ryan Blair is President of The GoalsGuy. A visionary and gifted conceptual thinker, Gary is highly regarded as a speaker, consultant, strategic planner, and coach to leading companies throughout the globe. Visit The GoalsGuy!

-What do you think of the ideas above? Share your feedback in the comments below.

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Goal Setting Tips: How to Exceed Expectations! By Gary Ryan Blair

The distance between those who achieve their goals consistently and those who spend their lives and careers merely following has everything to do with one's ability to go the extra mile. Search wherever you will for a single sound argument against the principle of going the extra mile, and you will not find it, nor will you find a single instance of enduring success which was not attained in part by its application. From parenting children to managing a staff, the true leaders in any field are willing to go farther than anyone else... the extra mile. Your ability to elicit behavior that goes above and beyond the call of duty is a key asset and competitive weapon, one that is extremely difficult for competitors to imitate and virtually impossible to ignore. You must embrace the fact that in order for you to remain competitive, than it's in your best interest to learn what it takes to go the extra mile and exceed expectations at all times. Everything Counts! Gary Ryan Blair __________________ Gary Ryan Blair is President of The GoalsGuy. A visionary and gifted conceptual thinker, Gary is highly regarded as a speaker, consultant, strategic planner, and coach to leading companies throughout the globe. Visit The GoalsGuy! -what are your thoughts on the ideas shared above? Do you agree or disagree? If so, why?

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